Mr. Thunderlips Favorite Tunes

Yes, its true! Mr. Thunderlips went into the studio last year to record three of his hottest tracks, including an excellent cover of a Madonna! Yes, you heard it right, MADONNA. Thunderlips plans to go back into the studio this winter, as he has three excellent tracks, ready to be laid down in style. Make sure you check it out. Thunderlips Music

So there is this website.

I highly recommend the following website Ruduzu. Thunderlips knows his loyal fans have much to complain about and this would be the place to do it. Let me summarize some of the more interesting annoyances I have heard on this website.

• men wearing tshirts to their ankles.... why?
  
• not having poo to fling when you really need it.
  
• Girls who bitch about the seat being up.
  

Check it out. Join. And complain away.

Muslims and Jews agreeing on something

From an NPR article:

ERIC WESTERVETL: Rabbi Yehuda Levin from Brooklyn, with the group called Jews for Morality, has been leading the effort here to get Jews and Muslims to join together to fight what he calls, quote, the moral terrorism of the radical gay agenda.

Rabbi YEHUDA LEVIN: This is not the homo land. This is the Holy Land. It's inappropriate here. Jerusalem is not a Greenwich Village, huge gay bar. It's Jerusalem, the Holy City.

WESTERVELT: Abbas Zocher(ph) is a 40 Year old Israeli Arab member of the Israeli Knesset, or parliament. The Muslim lawmaker doesn't agree with Jews on much, but Zocher has found common ground with Rabbi Levine and others in opposing homosexuality.

Mr. ABBAS ZOCHER (Israeli Knesset): (Through Translator) These people are sick and they should be treated in hospitals. Islam says people with this disease should not be out in the streets.

Allie Makes her Debut!

Well, as some of you know, Thunderlips has got a nasty case of the motorcycle fever. After completing his MSF safety course, Thunderlips went shopping for a bike. There were many of these mystique creatures that tempted him, but he kept strong, that is until Allie got under his skin. At first glance she didnt do much for him. But she was one of those that just wouldnt leave his mind. Not a few days later, Allie and Thunderlips got engaged. After a few quick days, they got hitched, and Thunderlips went for his first ride on Allie, and boy was she a beaut. She liked to be run hard, not one to just relax. After there first round together, she just kept beggin' for more and Thunderlips obliged. He took her for there first 100 mile trip, off into uncharted territory. But nightfall came and Thunderlips had to put Allie to bed for the night, but rest assured she'll be wanting more in the morning.

Smoking Ban in PA?

Oh, come on. I thought this trend was restricted to the communist states like NY. I swear, if PA passes this one, Ill be forced to leave. I just dont get it. I mean how many restaurants allow smoking now? Last time I was in I dont remember seeing a smoking section. If you dont want to be around second hand smoke, then dont go to places that allow smoking, simple as that. Next thing you know, there gonna be tellin us we cant smoke in our own homes, cuz the second hand smoke is harming the people next door. If people were truly advocating good health by banning smoking, maybe they should ban all fatty foods. No wait Ive got it, lets ban driving on public highways, since other peoples driving is a hazard to my health. Just like the seatbelt thing. How can someone require me to wear a seatbelt? Who am i hurting by not wearing my seatbelt? Me, thats it, me, and thats my choice.

Singing Aids Telegram

Hello, good morning!
how are you today?
Oh and by the way,
you have AIDS!

Oh, you worry
but dont you fret.
You havent heard the newest treatment yet.

Now dont go shoot yourself in the head
Hell, in a year or two you may be dead!
So, you better tell your lover
and next time take some cover.

And have some class,
dont take it up the @ss!

- Courtesy of Princess Leah

Auditions for Broken Saddle Mountain

I recently got my hands on some pictures from the final auditions for the prequel to Brokeback Mountain. Supposedly, its based on the forbidden and secretive relationship of four ranch hands and there lives over the years. Tyler Verona is a ex theater major who spent a little time cruising for love in truck stops before he found a fulfilling job breeding horses. Rick Langstor had a delinquent and troublesome childhood, in and out of relationships, before he discovered his desire for a male companion. His cousin, Terd Ferguson, spent most of his youth in the Special Education wing of his schools. He spent his time eating boogers and dreaming about the sultry Michael McDonald. To complete this gay, motley boy band came Thunderlips. A loner for most of his life, he ran into a Tyler in a truck stop in Omaha, Nebraska, where he discovered his desire for the BrokeBack way.

The story is compelling. The movie takes us from a brief glimpse of there backgrounds and develops the underlying companionship between the four. It will definitely bring a tear to anyones eyes. Make sure to watch for it in theaters Fall 2006.

Look at them Girls with them daisy dukes on.... I want you to ...

  So I was headed back to the shack today and ran into my good "friend" Daisy. She was just getting off work and had and was mentioning how famous I had become since Willie and my run in with Johnny Law. She wanted to get her picture taken with me, to hang above her bed at home. I kindly obliged, but not without getting something in return. As seen in the picture, you can tell what my present was. Man shes a rough one to tame. Boy does she get me going.

One of these days me and her are gonna go get hitched, thats what my horoscope said. Anyways, Ive got to get back to engineering my personal rocket pack.

A new feature: Emails from the other Side

Hi Harriet:

I was told that this was our meeting time - but you are not here. This creates exactly what I did not want, which is having holes in my schedule where I can do very little of my work. I find this very annoying.

Also, I have noticed in the schedule that Alice and Bob have one hour meeting. This should not mean that you work half of everybody else. I initially had allocated a two hours slot for you because I want to see work that is worthy the work of two people. This is what I expect.

There is a slot tonight between 6 and 7 that is not taken. I can understand that you are trying to postpone to the latest time possible the meeting (hence take the Wednesday slots) because you think you have more time. But I would like you to be sometimes a more considerate of me and use the flexibility I give you not at my expenses: if you were me would you rather meet somebody the day before you have to leave or an hour before you have to leave?

Anne Boleyn

Response:

Dear Miss Boleyn,

While I thoroughly enjoy your profound knowledge of the English language and its grammar, I find this note a little public. This email is addressed to all 13 of your dirty dozen, but specifically mentions only three, as far as I can tell by translating your cryptic note. - On a side note, I was contacted by the NSA yesterday, they want me for my expertise in cryptograhy. Your notes have some of the most cryptic information I have ever encountered, you put the KGB to shame. - Back to my resonse, 6-7 ? Isnt that Tuesday night Bingo?. Well anyways, I must get back to my guitar, Im writing a new song with Willie recalling our experiences back in Hazard County. Im using a new strumming pattern based on random interleaving.

Later,

Thunderlips

Im Back In the Ring

   Well, after I long hiatus, I am back. Got caught up in a little trouble as you can see in the picture below. It all started out as fun and games. I had gotten a chance to take the General Lee out for a joy ride. Well it wasnt long 'fore ole Rosco P. Coltrane caught up wit' me. But boy did I show him, as you can see in the first photo. Man that landing was pretty rought, but the General Lee, good ole confederate she is, took the beating gracefully.

   I though I was in the clear, but Rosco and Boss Hogg managed to call in a few reinforcements from the Illinoise National Guard. I really pissed em off there, smoking tires and all. They just stood there jumpin and a hollerin'. I gave em the old bird, and sped outta there.

  Down the road a ways, I ran into a road block, so I just parked the ole general on the side of the road, and headed back into the woods. I really had to go, so I just popped a squat right there in the trees. Kept on trampin' through the woods and ended up back out on ole Route 66, where Boss Hogg had left his car parked and running outside the old diner. I hopped on in and took her for a spin. Back out on 66, I saw this scraggly haired man lookin to hitch a ride. Turned out it was ole Willy. We didnt get a mile down the road 'fore Willy had smoked us up so good that we were headed right back into Bear Country. Recognizing Hoggs car we managed to get us an old bear trail on our back door. As you can see, we were still pretty high, and I really had no idea they were on my tail, till I crashed the gate doin 98. Blew the rad and a tire.

    Well this explains my long absence. I was holed up in Hazard County Jail for a few weeks on trumped up charges of havin a still in my barn, possession of paraphanelia (We had smoked all we had), and picking up a hitchhiker. But after a few weeks, Miss Daisy came in and did her thing, and old Enus let us out. Well I plan to stay out of trouble till this whole court case goes through, and then Ill be sure to update you on my more recent expeditions.

Guess Who's Working the Graveyard Shift?

Well I came in to work the midnight shift today. I cant seem to find enough hours in the damn week to get things done. In order to make time for work, I had to sacrifice a few things, mainly sleep and TV time. I sure as hell could not sacrifice eat time, crapper time, and guitar time. I dont know if Im gonna make it in to work in the morning though. Cant wait till the weekend so I can relax and party at the Monster Mile. That's right folks, THIS WEEKEND!!! All I need is a pillow and a toilet and I could call the office home. Sure theres a toilet down the hall, but its not the same as having a toilet in your office. Imagine that, you could work while popping a squat. THIS SIMULATION IS TAKING FOREVER! By the way, Im simulating fuel efficiency for the rocket pack im building for T-Dogg.

Also, we have a new REDNECK picture of the week, again from Mr. Smasher. Send in your best redneck picture, and if it can compete with Smasher's then maybe Ill put it up. I think a good picture of a woman with a big fat dip in would do it. I think im gonna by one of those Nasacar hats with flames all over it like real rednecks and white trash wear.

Man, I could drop a big heat-spike right now. Do the chickens have large talons? I think im gonna end up calling it an early morning and just go home and go back to bed. This shit sucks. I dont know how much more of this I can take before Im running around campus butt-neked screaming "Do the chickens have large talons? Damnit, all I want to know is if they have large talons?" Peace out bitches.

Were Headed to Dover

  Well Folks, Its official. Smasher has received our tickets to the MBNA 400 at the Monster Mile. Were off to Dover for the 25th, of September. Keep your eyes peeled for us as we roll up in our Walmart T-shirts and confederate Belt Buckles, each with a 30 pack of Miller Lite in hand and stroking our fu-manchu's. Its gonna be one hell of a weekend, hope to have some good stories to tell when I return. If your interested in offering shelter for the night of the 24th, live in the Dover area, and appreciate the smell of masculine men, let us know.

  Remind me to put up a recent picture of Smasher, a free trip to the gunshow. Ive got this picture he sent me, and boy does he have a redneck butt in this picture. Flat as a flapjack. In fact his denim on denim works very well, but i have no clue whats holding up his damn pants. It is obviously not his redneck ass, but his big Confederate belt buckle. Beautiful pic there Smasher. If only we could all be as huge as yourself. If you see Smasher in your neighborhood ..... RUN! He should only be approached by experienced individuals like myself.

  I recently heard a tale about a buddy of mine, Bull Hurley. Hes been out building an exact to-scale replica of the Monster Mile in his side lot. I bet the neighbors are really gonna like that one. Let me know when the first official race will be, so I can come down a day ahead and qualify.

Well Im out like the crippled kid in tag. Late.

Kyle Busch Takes the Record

I hope yall stayed up to watch the end of the SONY HD 500 at Fontana. Mr. Kyle Busch became the youngest driver to win a Nextel Cup Race at 20 years of age. Now here's a few good NASCAR jokes I ran across:

What is the difference between Jeff Gordons car and a porcupine?
On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!

BROOKE GORDON'S TOP 10 COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE W.C. CHAMP
10. Hasn't washed "lucky underwear" since first cart win at age 10
9. After "doing it", likes to jump up and down on dresser and spray bedroom with bottle of cheap champagne
8. Always leaves oily mess in bathtub after hour long Rogaine soaks
7. Really excited to race in Japan until he discovered "Wonderboy" translates to "Wonton Boy"
6. His-n-Her champ rings look suspiciously like mood rings on sale at K-Mart
5. Really got ticked off when she made bitchin' lava lamp out of Winston Cup trophy for her community ed. craft class
4. Since cool emotional banquet speech, takes him 15 teary eyed minutes to even accept Fed Ex packages
3. Twinkie fingerprints all over butt attract stray dogs when jogging
2. Since she became "First Lady of NASCAR" he wants to be known as "Slick Willie of Love"

AND THE NUMBER 1 BROOKE GORDON COMPLAINT ABOUT THE CHAMP:
1. After wild victory party with Rainbow Warriors, found Unocal hat guy passed out in closet wearing nothing but a Dupont cap and a smile

Here it is folks, the first official poll on Thunderlips Blog:

Will Gordon make the Chase for the Cup?
	Hell no, Gordon's queer.
	I've beat Gordon in Chase for the Cup on my ps2, he sucks!
	Gordon will pull it off once he removes Brookes finger from his a$$.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Crime Is taking over Cornell

Check out all these alerts Ive been getting in my mailbox. Apparently this is like the most crime alerts that have ever been sent in one month at Cornell. I dont even know if these damn things are useful. Ive set them up to be blocked as spam now. Im really worried, theres two short black guys mugging people without weapons, chicks fighting each other in the street (I really would have liked to see that one), and morons being robbed cuz they leave their door and windows unlocked when they leave. What kind of town am I living in?

Aug 30, 2005

The Ithaca Police Department is investigating a strong armed robbery that occurred at approximately 1:30 a.m., Aug. 29, near the intersection of Campus Road and Mary Ann Wood Drive, below West Avenue. The male victim was walking on Campus Road when he was approached by two male subjects. The victim reported that one subject asked him a question, then both physically assaulted him, taking the duffel bag he was carrying. The suspects were last seen running east on Campus Road. The victim described his attackers was being two black males, both approximately 5 feet 9 inches tall and approximately 17 years of age. The victim was treated at Cayuga Medical Center for minor injuries.

Anyone with information about this incident is asked to contact the IthacaPolice Department at 272-9973, or dial 911 in case of an emergency. Suspicious activity on the Cornell Campus should be reported to the Cornell Police at 255-1111 (5-1111 on campus), or dial 911 in case of an emergency.

Students are reminded that, while walking at night, to avoid darkened areas and try and walk in pairs. Students may also use the Cornell Blue Light Escort Service. Requests for this service can be made by dialing 255-7373 (5-7373 on campus).

August 29, 2005

The Ithaca Police Department is investigating a robbery/assault that occurred in the 300 block of College Avenue on Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2005, at approximately 1:30 a.m. The female student victim was walking with friends when she was assaulted by a group of females. The suspects reportedly punched the victim several times and tore her clothing. The victim also
reported that a Cornell employee attempted to assist her and was assaulted by a group of males. The victim reported that the group who assaulted her were several black females and one white female. The victim further described one of her attackers as being a heavy-set black female wearing glasses and having braids in her hair.

Aug. 25, 2005

The Ithaca Police Department is investigating several burglaries that have occurred in the Collegetown area in the past week. Residences have been entered in the 100 block of Catherine Street, 100 block of Highland Place and 100 block of Stewart Avenue. Among items taken were a laptop computer, iPods and wallets. In most cases, entry into the apartments was gained through unlocked doors or unlocked windows.

Students are reminded to keep their doors and windows secured.

Freaking Imbecils, Morons, Turd Burglars

How bout this Crap. Come out of class this morning to find some jackass has not only managed to lock up there bike on the bike rack, but also mine. I proceed to shout profanities, pull on the lock, examine items of their bike I may steal. I walk away for the time being. I am told the bike is still there at this time. When I leave here at the end of the day, I will go to my bike, and if it is locked, I am prepared to cut there damn lock off, regardless of what local law enforcement may have to think about this. Ill update this later.

If your in for an interesting, thought provoking read, read this one. It makes some very interesting points.

State Mandates Schools to perform BMI screenings

How 'bout this load of manure. Times Leader Article. Apparently the state has decided to start screening kids to determine there body mass index, in hopes of eliminating the fat element of our state. Not only have they decided to start telling parents their kids are fat (like they dont realize this themselves), many schools have removed soda machines and started promoting low-fat milk and water. "Students might notice changes in gym class too as part of a national push to replace or supplement dodge ball and flag football with physical activities students are more likely to pursue as adults, such as yoga, dancing, weightlifting and even walking with pedometers."

Now give me a break, as if dodgeball and flag football arent activities students are likely to pursue as adults. Can someone explain to me how yoga is a physical activity? Is there any cardio involved? So lets get this straight, gym classes are now gonna teach people how to walk? Insulting.

"“We don’t want to be the fat police. These BMIs are not an indictment against children or their parents,” said Beth Trapani, spokeswoman for the nonprofit Pennsylvania Advocates for Nutrition and Activity. “We don’t care what kids look like. We just want them to be healthy.” My Ass you dont care. I want them to be healthy too, not like that fat ass Smasher, thought I have to admit, he finally decided to lose weight after some 8 years. Well, what happened to the plan to keep kids off drugs, and the one to stop teenage smoking. Since we couldnt get any of those to work, were now gonna drop those and work on the fat kids.

I really think its only a matter of time before this information is used against the poor kid or his family. Imagine if insurance companies were able to get their hands on this information. I am all for promoting health especially in kids, but could someone please tell me the last time a government promoted school idea has worked. KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF PEOPLE'S FAMILIES! This is the parents responsibility.

Penis Issue Harming Thai Cabinet

This is great. Read This. I love the line, "The problem of my face is bigger than the problem of your penis." HAHA.

Also read this one about a doctor telling a women she was obese. "I told a fat woman she was obese,..." Come on now. What the hell do you expect. The woman was fat. Obese people are at risk. What do you really expect the doc to do? Lie to the heifer and tell her that her obesity will not affect her health. All he did was tell the truth. I would really hope that were not gonna start punishing people for telling the truth. Would you want your doctor not to tell you that something you were doing was hazardous to your health. Thats the mans job. Get a life you fat biaaaattch. Go to another doctor if you dont like what this one told you. My regards to the doc for stating the obvious.

I will end with Captain Toolboat's random question of the day. "Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?" There actors? No, your kidding. I think D-Mann should play his first big role as an actor on Unsolved Mysteries as a wanted child molester in 51 states.

ONE MORE THING!!!! Readon #2 of 101 to move to NH: The New Hampshire constitution is the ONLY constitution in the WORLD that expressly protects its citizens right to revolution.

Smasher's Call for Paintball Players

I received this comment/recruitment from Smasher earlier this evening"

Comments: I would like to know who is down for paintball behind my house on the 4th? Mooter has that Sunday off and is looking forward to showing off his pubic plugs! Thats right, he took his pubes and a few of my really long ones and pasted them speratically on his head! He looks like a freak! The once balding beauty has a full afro of pubes on his head. As for you D-F***er, if you wont play this time then you should pack up and move to San Diego with the other pieces of colorful fruit!

As for me, I will have to check my busy schedule for the weekend of the 4th. I hope it wont be so damn hot like it was last time. It felt like a slip and slide in my pants. I really would like to see the before and after pictures of out dear beloved Mooter. D-Man, what do you have to say to Smasher's comments? Well lets put this blog through the works. Start the commenting. Jazzmaster, I would like to see you post here often.
Make sure yall check out the link for the Free State Project. Im seriously thinking about this. May seem radical at first, but give it some thought. Reason no. 1 of 101 to move to NH: Famous spirit of independence and "Live Free or Die" state motto.
One more random thought. If you were to walk in on your teenage daughter fornicating, how would you punish them? Me, I think Id buy a chastity belt. Im out like a forest fire in winter.

Utah Rave Busted By Police

I first happened upon this news while listing to a Free Talk Live podcast. The story seems boring at first, but after some thought I decided this needed some coverage. Here is the link for the story. While you would probably never see me at a Rave, nor hangin with Candy Ravers, I sympathise with these particular Ravers. Apparently, the local swat team decided to bust up this party citing drug use, sexual abuse, etc. Though I cannot attest to whether or not these activities were actually occurring, I would assume at the least there was some drug use. The organizers supposedly had done everything by the book, obtained the appropriate permits, held the event on private property, and even taken out a 2 million dollar insurance policy. Now I have personally experienced organized parties similar to this (i.e. A Black Crowes/Oasis concert in Camden) where extensive drug use was present, underage drinking, etc. where police were present and chose to turn the blind eye to these activities. Did 100 swat team members come dressed in full military fatigues with dogs to break this thing up? Of course not. These Ravers were on private property with the owners permission. I sure as hell would hope that if I were to have some party on my private property, the police would not come break this up. And if they did, you better believe I would be fuming. Can you imagine if these same police had decided to break up a "gathering" at a NASCAR race citing excessive alcohol and drug abuse. I can only say one thing, It would be a violent encounter. And can someone tell me why busting a Rave is protecting the people more than busting up a NASCAR race? I thought the police were here to protect and to serve. This party was in the middle of nowhere. Who were they really protecting? And why the full getup with fatigues? Let me know your thoughts